Friday, 13 July 2012

Brighton Fashion Week

The fashionistas come out in force in this fair borough of ours when there is but a sniff of swagger and style of which to absorb and emulate. 

Brighton Fashion Week is poor relation to Milan or Paris or even Hackney where the dudes and dandies of all colours peddle and strut and undulate themselves with their limp-pimp styling. And yet the week long event gives fine practice to the rising talents within the city and beyond and allows the participants to pretend for a while that they are something in the machine, arbiters of fine taste perhaps, and we should rob them not of their dreams.

I was invited by my designer, Prince Charles of London, to escort his fine posse to an event last evening. Charles is well established in London and way beyond and sees fit to show in the Brighton Borough for other reasons. (I should not spread rumour but I am hardly able to curtale my general excitement. The Prince and his betrothed, Lady Susan of Diamonds, are to relocate to this fine borough of ours. Talent at last upon the Palace doorstep.)

Empty seats did not bode well that night, although the venue, All Saints Church in Hove, was rather spectacular.

I was most pleased when my attendance was over for I found myself to be nodding off at the lack of inspiration......

There was incident also with an upstart who has attempted recently to penetrate the Court. Lydia-Lacking of the Frances Tribe (a lessor clan from the Brighton hinterlands), had begged that the Countess judge a second rate fashion show of which she was attempting to host ,with least effort, on the back Brighton Fashion Week. It seems this is common practice, wagon jumping for the fashion hopefuls who attempt to make a buck and some temporary glory. I agreed under some duress as the Palace takes great pride in supporting the young and inexperienced in the borough.

The child had problems with spelling and sentence structure and her communication seemed stunted. Something then irked her when I asked in innocent inquiry......had she been placed along the autistic spectrum?

Why this should be taken as an insult is far beyond me for as we know dear readers, the lineage of the Asperger is long and strong and something of which to be proud.

Foolishly Lydia-Lacking of the Francis Tribe (a lessor clan from the Brighton hinterlands) began a campaign of insult and the Palace is forced to instruct that she loose her head.

Also on the list for beheading is Lara of the Greens! A one time glamour model who stupidly attempted to bribe the Baron with promises of her person. and figure. A habit of the nose had clearly affected her brain for she ranted a raved for more than twenty-four hours and was told in no uncertain terms to let go of the draw bridge!

I must off to assess the list for awards and beheadings which follows this very afternoon!

God Bless you all.

Art Prints by Pasha du Valentine for Goddamn Media

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