Thursday, 24 May 2012

SANDRA SAYS on DAMIEN HIRST

Guests at the Palace Private View for the Brighton Fringe Festival 2012










































The Proletariat is Let Loose on Palace Grounds for the Brighton Festival.

Your Countess had been approached by local dignitaries some months prior who had persuaded one, against more sustained and mature judgement, that the Palace art collection be put on show...... not only to to the proletariat but also to persons further afield.... perhaps from other boroughs and even the Europeans.

(I had fortune previously of introduction to the Mayor and his betrothed during a rendezvous at which the swinging classes welcome in the spring.)


















The Mayor of Brighton and his Betrothed

Ana, my Lady in Waiting, had reminded the Countess that the lower classes are prone, in their excitement of Palace address, to touch and fondle the Palace artefacts with less than clean digits and that a risk of breakage was always high. Furthermore, the chattering classes, (the most emotionally taxing and least interesting I find) are prone to bouts of twittering and twitching and have been discovered on many occasions to be a wandering about the Palace in search of keepsakes from the water closets! Thus one's spirits were already subdued at the prospect of what was to follow.

But one had promised after all and as dear Mama, the Lady Pembleton-Fraser, had laboured dear Papa's earnings on her child's education, one was obliged to open the Palace doors for the duration of what is now referred to as........'the Brighton Fringe Festival'.

The project was more than ghastly from start to finish save for the preliminary celebration at which the Countess entertained her most loyal friends along with several exhibitors who had been given a Palace wall upon which to present their fancies and doodles.

Indeed the people came from near and far dressed in the finery of royal standards. Most especially ornate was Queen Electra of Greece. Her rear was much appreciated amongst the other artworks on display.



















Queen Electra of Greece


Your Countess, not to be outdone by the Greek, had been dressed by the new Palace designer Prince Charles of London. The gent has come to me quite by twist of fate through mutual friends for we were educated together at Frensham Heights in Surrey during the heady days of the nineteen hundred and seventies. Whilst strictly speaking, the years having passed since those days, I cannot recall any dalliances in the playground with Prince Charles, your Countess always shows great respect for the old boy's club that Papa was also a member of.
The dress, personally made by Prince Charles' very own fingertips, caused more than a storm throughout the celebrations and festivities, mostly due to an elongated zipper which allowed freedom of the breasts!
































(Indeed dear readers it was just today, this very afternoon, that I heard news from the studio of the Prince that my new frock is being made in anticipation of Brighton Fashion week which fast approaches. I am sworn to secrecy as to its fine detail but I assure you there will be no disappointment rendered for the dress uses the finest of see through plastics in its assemblage.....oh and how your Countess adores the transparent.)

I have digressed.......

My newest escort, a man of high class and distinction in his field, is Daniel of the Trembaths of Plymouth. He has come to my court seeking solace and good fortune and has proved himself invaluable, in so many ways, to the Countess and indeed her courtiers. He is quite expert at so many things and is capable of whipping up a frenzy during his attendance. DT, to which he is now affectionately referred, took it upon his young lean shoulders to organise fare on the night in question. Pastries from as far away as Switzerland were ordered and filled with the finest savouries available.






















I find now my eyes are weary even  before I have tell of the events that unfolded that night....stories of squatters in the Palace would you believe? I will wait with these pressing anecdotes until tomorrow my children for I must attend to my boudoir and the upkeep of my specimen.

Until later, God bless you all!


Large photo print by Pasha 'WHITE CAT WITH GREEN & BLUE EYES' ltd ed signed new


























sizes


Friday, 18 May 2012

The Countess returns to consider the failings of contemporary culture and art!

The Countess returns with fresh gusto as problems arise in the borough with art!
I will address the issue at first light following early refreshments; an alarm has been set for my Lady in waiting as visitors will attend the Palace to make film of my fine visage and I will to be prepared.
Meantime, I beg you take care to consider more doodles and therapies that myself and the Queen of the Mushroom Fairies have partaken in, in order that we while away the dull hours as May pelted retched wind an rain upon our wigs and ruched silks.

Until tomorrow my dear children, for there is much news.....

The English Rose

The Borough Streets

Palace Histories


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