Thursday, 26 May 2011

I was to be entertained this weekend passed by Sir Peter Jarrettte at the Bank along Western Road. We were plied with rum, so we were told, for a change to vodka, though the management seemed to have forgotten to put rum in the cocktails. I am suspect that dishonour was afoot.....I mentioned this to the Lady Pembleton-Fraser, mother is of course some years my senior and more wise in these details. Our guess then, after her suggestion, is that a rum essence was used. Having been teetotal for some five weeks one would expect a heady after effect.....your Countess had agreed to some five or six of these continental mixes and there was no effect.

The fashion crowd showed willing participants in the proceedings. They were frivolous and fashionable and generally dull. One guest attempted to yank my hair from its roots......the wench was an imbecile and marks the calibre of Brightonians in this climate of recession who seem to wander the town in their droves. I thanked God that my escape to Londinium was but a few days hence.

Brighton has lost its lustre and I am glad to be shot of its dull ache.

Business has exceeded expectations and the first month of sales has been exceptional and I have quite gone mad with the purse.

My new designer Princess Nathalie of Former Glory (who has recently made hay and a small female child with a record producer most famous for the Countess pop record 'Pump up the Pussy') is to design and make a new ball gown. I am to host the Black and White Reunion Ball at Gilgamesh. I am to dine there with a band of women known as Girl's Aloud.....I am informed that they too have made popular songs though I am not familiar with their warblings.

My dear friend Sir Tommy Mac has been most gracious in his attentions. There are many more events in the following months that the Countess has been pressed to attend and I am filled with excitement already.

My move to the Hackney Palace was swift and smooth, not a single item was damaged. The new staff in Hackney runs faultlessly.

Under advice from my business managers I am to launch a new channel this very day. Viewers will be privy to the Countess life at the Palace in Hackney.
Also one has published one's memoirs on Kindle......a newfangled tome!

Sales of the Hackney Bloomer have exceeded expectations and I am to increase the number of seamstresses at the Palace.  I am heady with business requirements and look forward to several events this weekend. I will share details shortly.

God bless you all my children.

Problems with Sunshine

The sun at the start of the week was so strong in nature as to quite keep the Countess in the shade. I dared not venture out for fear of burning my delicate English skin (....part Scottish also, and possibly part something else that has yet to be ascertained and has no doubt gone to the grave of dear Papa)......
And then there is the problem of a regal sensitivity of the skin of the face and neck.
As a woman seen so oft in public  I have a duty to show the proletariat the way that a lady of breeding should appear: neither as a gypsy nor a skivvy nor someone from the Essex county. Thus I was more or less housebound for the entire Easter break. This suited me well lest my will to avoid the vodkas and the champagnes in the borough be weakened under the seduction of friends and acquaintances. Why, even the Lady Pembleton-Fraser, occasionally referred to as 'an old lush', whatever that should mean, remained at home and free from the temptations that present themselves beyond the castle walls. (More or less, there were two weaknesses of will in a wine bar in Hove that the Lady chose to forget).

What pleasure it was to sit with Mama and to reminisce of more pleasant times before the infiltration of the C(o)unt and the fall from grace of the Baron. It must also be said that food and refreshment at the Castle in Hove is most palatable and readily available as the Lady Pembleton-Fraser has a good solid staff who have been trained well to fit into her simple but sturdy ways.

For the moment readers, may God bless Britain as I expect traders to arrive presently with parasols made of fine English lace.

Tuesday, 24 May 2011

the Countess of Hackney, Vivienne Westwood and Mickey Mouse

An amusing look at branding I thought, Mickey Mouse is suddenly thrown from innocence into an arena of soft fetish. The red on the Vivienne shoes echoes the red of the pants and red is the colour of sex of course. Also curious how rude the images look with so little revealed.....the ankles become overly sexualised because of the knickers.....what are the suggestions here? What is the model doing?

Sunday, 1 May 2011


My time in Brighton is over readers due to pressures from the Hakney Municipality to conduct my duties accordingly in the borough in Londinium.
My letters thus have moved to a new address, please follow me there.

God bless you all.


The decorators and designers of interiors and gardens have busied themselves all week with preparing the Hackney Palace. The fountains have been installed adjacent to the maze....yes readers a maze! I have so desired such a thing since having lost myself in one the time the Duke visited at the house in Frensham. What fun we had running and screeching and darting about the bushes at dusk.
(We were as I recall, rather disgruntled that my governess was to interrupt our frolics as she reminded me that I was to put more effort into my studies. Since then of course the Duke has been married off to someone from the Russian states who carries weight around her rump.....perhaps he does not play chase anymore or perhaps she is less good at being found than the Countess was.)

The maze in the Hackney grounds is an exact copy of the one at Henver Castle pictured below.

The water features have been placed close to amphitheatre.....there was an issue with sound of course which may distract the shakespearian performers and so one was was mindful of noise.

My sojourn to Hove has proved most beneficial despite mother's rather mundane routine. I am in remarkable health having avoided the vodka and wine that has been such a part of my regal lifestyle to date.
 As the Lady Pembleton-Fraser is under medical instruction to restrict the growth of her 'front porch' the portions at table are fit for sparrows. I have taken to snacking in the wee small hours on chocolate that is especially constructed for those in the borough who are concerned with an advancing girth. I feel even the Countess, who is not concerned for visual improvement, is indeed benefiting to some degree......a small boost to perfection one might say.

Business has taken an upward spiral. The walk in cupboards have been cleared and the items sold on eBay with great success. Furthermore my seamstresses were able to assist in the manufacture of two new ranges of Palace garment.

The Hoxton Mini and the Hackney Bloomer are now part of Hackney life and orders have come fast and furious. The coffers, dear readers, are quite swelled!
I am filled with excitement and have been shopping already. Della has warned that there is little point in clearing the wardrobes to simply refill them......Della does not understand new fashions and the importance of being en vogue for a Countess who is permanently in the public eye.



Today I am for coffee with the Lady herself and Alfie, the chihuahua. Alfie and I have bonded quite readily, due probably to the tit bits after meals and to the fact that I have been seen walking out with him. Alfie brings much attention due to to his dainty manifestation but is prone to bite quite without warning, he so reminds one of mother. Nonetheless he is up for a jaunt and quite looks the part when carried, if somewhat American!

I must also ready for a photographic shoot later on this fine Sabbath day. The hairdressers are due to arrive and I am to model the new bloomer, there is much to prepare for one's close up.......

God bless you all and long live Hackney.

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