Monday, 1 February 2010

Drunk and Disorderly in Brighton Town, Another Fine Mess You Got Me Into.



           Chrissy and Ali........ Grosvenor Princesses


Biggy had invited me to the Grosvenor Castle. The Countess had been slightly traumatised by one of her stalkers so the invitation most welcome!

Now there is nothing wrong with a stalker my friends and followers as we all know. In fact I complain wholeheartedly when my stalkers neglect their stalking obligations, (it is a lonely place at the top of a plynth with only cupids circling my curls).
But one particular gentleman has been hounding your Countess to such a degree that she is now feeling uncomfortable at his constant attention. Also, the gentleman in question is from the borough of Shoreham and mother would be horrified at the prospect of a union with a commoner. What is more worrying are the constant references to the Countess' shoes and toes and feet. Stranger still an unholy fixation for the Countess to trample over this person's back!!!

I hear your gasps of disapproval. I have informed the relevant authorities and have employed a body guard. My body guard is rather dashing and I feel the start of a deep and meaningful union may be about to start.
I am also booked this very week to see my 'shrink' as the worries have overspilled into my sleeping world and have caused dark nightmares and sleeping terrors where your Countess is bound and tied and is sucked about the feet......worse still I am compelled to enjoy the process, in this dreamland. Fear not for my shrink will deal with these complications and bring the Countess back to sensibility.


 


So the Grosvenor beckoned and there I met Biggy, who of course you are all familiar with.
And I was thrilled also to meet distinguished gentlemen of the borough, some from as far afield as Southern Africa. 

  
    Boys from the Grosvenor, that's Biggy
    on the end on the right.


 
   Paul Hewett with the Countess



 
   The Countess' diamonte eyelashes

My memories of my suiter from Tower Hamlets were muffled by the activities of the weekend. Other suiters, hell bent methinks on bugging the Countess have drawn me to the conclusion that Girls Date for Free is not the one for me.
I am lookintg at other ways and means to affect proposals of marriage.....perhaps to attract a better calibre of gentleman for I found out readers that Girls Date for Free is in fact rather cheap to join. If my aides had been aware that one could sign up for a mere £20 a month, the Countess would not be in this predicament.......a woman of my social standing does not desire to mix in the gene pool of the proletariate! Despite the fact that I have on one or two occasions, watched a programme called Jermy Kyale, or something similar, to ensure that I am familiar with the workings of the lower classes.


                      Pearl in Western Road


Now back to Saturday evening........
We partied hard as is the way at the weekend for people of our graces and means.
Later, Sir Peter Jarrette sent as invitation and we were beckoned to the Palace of Pearl, and later still to The Castle of M (pronounced 'em') where the music thumped and the wine and vodka flowed. As I recall it was at the Castle of M that things in the mind of your Countess became fuzzled and bedazzled. I recall we finally arrived back at the my very own castle and after some complications in the moat, Biggy nearly fell in, we arrived safe and sound along with Jono of Eire and others besides. (I fear that Biggy's attentions towards the Irish one were misplaced as the latter was not to be persuaded despite several attempts, under cover, so to speak).


Your Countess was most pleased by Monday for two reasons.
Firstly readers, my head was no longer fuzzled and bedazzled and secondly I had also sold a signed artist print from the palace. The frirst of this particular work and so one is most pleased. Click on the image for a closer look a the original mixed collage.......viewable in the gallery at the Palace of course, by appointment on a Friday afternoon.




















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