Wednesday, 10 November 2010

ADMIRERS AND REVOLUTIONARIES

A cessation of events and insalubrious activities along the Spanish coast came none to soon for I fear my health was in jeopardy. The diet was rich in carcinogens that my physician has warned against. Moreover the extent of insufficient personal physical activity involved.......

the traversing of the floor of the House of Polo (from Sir Nigel's regular table to the ladies toilette).......

a brief partaking in dance with one's host on the dance floor of the House of Polo.......

and walking to or from the waiting limousine some ten feet or so beyond the doors of the House of Polo.

Furthermore, gifts of the highest quality, including beauty treatments and other spoilings, were now to be expected rather than appreciated by a Countess becoming spoiled. I was reminded of mother and Della who question on occasion your Countess' lack of grace when receiving......a lady should refrain from expectation after all....a mantra one tries to adhere to.

I had also become appreciatively comfortable in my new Marbellan Castle and had all at once become accustomed to Sir Nigel's foibles and even with his tippled staff. The Palaces in Brighton and Hackney were becoming a distant dream. 'Twas fairly now a time to return. That aside, Sir Nigel was overly prone to glance longingly, if somewhat forlorn, as I made way in the mornings from my temporary boudoir to the powder room....... (my quarters lacking en suite facilities as you may recall).

I had received news also from Della that the Baron Rupert de la Mare was finding his autonomy at the Brighton palace rather to his liking. There was no news of lodgers moved in at least and I had not yet heard any complaint from the local constabulary, but I was fearing that my return be necessary lest the borough and the Palace fell to ruin without me. 
There was news of British recession coming through to Spain and Sir Nigel was to be heard advising clients to sell their bullion .......not that one would drop by the eaves of course.

And so one made arrangements to return to this fair isle.
Sir Nigel's driver chaperoned your Countess to the jet and quite upset my constitution with tales from somewhere north of Hackney, a place referred to as Liverpool, I believe.......

I was fair looking forward to my return home and to my own staff who have been well vetted against affiliation with mafia and the underworld and other problems that may affect their work here at the Palace. 

(Although I believe one of the scullery maids, a tall slender red haired girl with an Irish likeness, named Amber of Moulsecombe, may have a physical disorder affecting her disposition; an overheating problem which causes her to unbutton her bodices in the thick of her duties. The Baron Rupert has explained that this is a rare medical condition and that I must show charity to the creature lest the Baron be forced to renege on a previous promise to her guardians. I remain pleased that the Baron puts his superior education and philanthropy to such commendable use and Della has assured me that the separation in class bears no challenge to what amounts to a purely benevolent relationship......although the girl spends much effort cleaning the Baron's quarters.)

Now, upon my return I noticed immediately that the black onyx statue that guards the palace doorway was absent from its placement. Initially the staff and the Baron were loath to reveal any knowledge of the whereabouts of the sculpture which had been bestowed upon your Countess by a Persian prince some years ago.
Some interrogation ensued for I missed the article and most especially enjoyed, over the years of its possession, its genuine emerald eyes.

My detective work was not of any value and I am assured by the Baron that a thief has stolen the gift....... one late evening he thought he had heard rumblings in the grounds, though they were left unchecked. I have spread word about the boroughs of Brighton and Hackney but fear that in my absence overseas I was quite taken advantage of. The Baron Rupert has assured me that it was an outdated fashion piece with little kudos and that I must put it out of my mind in favour of the many other items of beauty about the Palace. Although I am also missing my highly sought after Alessi coffee cups........at least my child was safe, unravaged one hopes and in appreciation of his mother love having been without it for eleven days.

Upon my return to the borough of course we were to celebrate Hallows Eve and other excitements. There was even a march in the streets of Brighton against government cuts. Della suggested that it was not necessary for a Countess to attend such a march for a number of reasons. Firstly marching would wear one's heels, secondly, mixing with socialist rebels may affect a delicate constitution (or cause over excitement), and of course most importantly, your Countess is quite content with her cuts.....the palace butcher is the finest in England.

Brighton hosted a Zombie March as usual for this time of year and I was filled with glee to have been enabled it. Furthermore there was a dance of Zombies on our fine pier.


And thus one has slotted back into the Brighton way, parties and dancing and the sharing of new ideas......vodka and celebrations and friendships new and old.
Lady Emily Sarah of the Wrights and Sir Martin of the Freedman clan have graciously entertained the Countess and Skye, Queen of the Mushroom Fairies this past week.....a feast fit for royalty at an establishment but a stones throw from the palace named the Lion and Lobster. 
Sir Peter of the Jarrettes celebrated a birthday this weekend past along with the Baron Rupert and the Duchy of cake and Ice Ice Baby. There was a great deal of celebrating to be done and great quantities of vodka from the Russian states were consumed. 
Martin of the Middletons came to the Palace and drew portraits of my guests whilst his colleague, Andrew of Portsmouth, bestowed many cigarettes upon them.
A new suitor......Mark of Builders, also attended the Countess and her palace and momentarily there was consideration amongst parties that a union may be possible. The gentleman has not been successful in his seduction, however, as my business secretary, having enquired into Mark of Builders activities, has warned that the gentleman is no match in funding.......Della warned of a similar mismatch in intellect.......Skye warned that the gentleman bore many striking resemblances to the C(o)unt.  Indeed there was a genetic lineage of Italian stock, a lack of education and a brutish demeanor that bore a brother-like similarity to my late husband and I was forced to compose myself and be done with dalliance in order to govern the borough successfully, as is my duty.

And so tomorrow I am to luncheon with the Lord of Kempshot (one's Godfather) along with the Lady Pembleton-Fraser and Skye, Queen of the Mushroom Fairies.
Friday I am to open a new bar in the centre of town. Saturday I am to the Palace of Lady Sophie of the Parkins and to venture into Deal in Kent where the great Molly Parkin is to sign books.....I am to purchase one and have it inscribed by the great lady for my own dear mother on Christmas day.

And Lex of Angels has installed onto the palace computer system something called expert and professional software. This software has cost the palace greatly .....your Countess was forced to sell one of her gold bars to Sir Nigel of Spain (in exile). I am assured that the archives of Brighton and Hackney will now be managed according to excellence and that my relinquishment will not be in vain.




Now readers I am to the four poster but let us spare a thought for revolting students who this very day past took their discontent to the streets of London as the government plan measures of strife in an attempt to quell the leaks from our coffers. Let us never forget the British right to dissent and to resist!
God bless you all.


Wednesday, 25 August 2010

Football and Heartburn

The Palace machine has never run so smoothly and the Countess has become calmed at last after the weeks of preparations for the Palace Fetish Art exhibition. Business plans are on schedule and my secretary is content with the swelling coffers, although they swell less in these times of recession.

I have been in receipt of many messages of congratulations and thanks although I wait with anticipation the final remuneration from Martin of the Freedmans who, somewhat overcome by the Foxy warrior, reserved her portrait in gold behind bars. 




From INTERNET IMAGES

Nothing other this past week seemed to add any unnecessary drama and what with business and civic commitments less challenging than usual one has been able to focus attentions on one's person.
The Countess wardrobes swell with new designs, shoes delivered direct from Channel and Dolce and Cabana and clothes direct from Vivienne Westwood.



Friday saw a visit to Hove to meet with the Lady Pembleton-Fraser in a place for sampling wines known as the Lion d'or. 
Most fortuitous was the arrival of the Lord Double-Yew for as you may recall readers I was to question his methods as landlord of slums in the borough. I believe my duty as both friend and governor were executed well. 
In fact relations between the Lord in question and lady Emily have seemingly improved for this very evening the lovely Lady Emily invited the Lord and his good wife to the abode at the centre of the criticism for a feast of risotto.
Be it far from me to gossip (as mother of course is apt to mention.....a lady of my social standing and education must rise above the temptations of the gutter). 
However, cook was caught in an act of tongue wagging with the scullery maid by the stable boy, who then shared it, it seems, with the gardener who accidentally let it slip to the butler as your Countess overlooked the Rhododendrons........I am weary with the tale already....but I will continue. 

It seems that earlier last evening in the abode of Lady Emily Sarah  of the Wrights there was an incident with a wooden spoon and buttocks that only involved the Ladies there present. Seemingly Lady Charlotte quite became enlightened in the activity as the Lord Double-Yew watched smoking a Havana and warming his Cognac. 
I have warned my staff that discretion amongst the aristocracy is paramount and that their continued employ in my Palace depend on it! I will not tolerate tittle tattle, except for the truly enlightening.



I digress as usual and take you back to my time in Hove and the people there last week.

I was to spend some time in a rather dowdy castle, as part of my civic duties, in a place of ill repute named the Green House Effect. I was under some impression or other that it was a place of Eco friendliness and worldly experiment....perhaps where flowers would grow under a bubble as in the Eden project in the west country.......Alas I had been ill informed but in an attempt to mix with the proletariat and understand their foibles, I remained and was influenced to sample wines. (To be fair readers, the wines reminded your Countess of something cook uses for the servants Christmas broth).

I was entertained with great kindness however by many songsters from a band of travellers called, as I recall, Karaoke Songsters, including the lovely Kamna of the Dodds. I am unsure if her family are aware of her fall into the travelling karaoke lifestyle and will speak to her mother when and if the need arises. Sometimes parental ignorance is bliss.

Later I was pleased to meet the lovely Sir Teddy of the Maybank clan ....who I believe was once  great sportsman. Of course mother would be most unimpressed, or so I thought, at any prospect that my expensive education be wasted on the lifestyle of a W.A.G. 


(The Duchy of Cake and Ice Ice Baby has told me of W.A.G.s and their impact upon my boroughs, more on Hackney than Brighton it must be said, but a threat nonetheless to our young ladies and their career choices. W.A.G.s roam Britain in search of men of sport and cause themselves to be forcibly impregnated by them so that they may insist on the purchase of new handbags and shoes, regularly. I have had to persuade my daughters that such temptation should be avoided .....although the Baron may do well by it should he become that way inclined........in view of his lack of academic comitment.).

The night was not over and I was to be yet further entertained by the proprietor of the Red Rooms Castle. How generous he was as we partied hard with no strain on the Palace coffers. And our party was to travel to Hove in the sunshine the very next day. Beyond that my memory has failed me for the party was seemingly never to end and the champagne to forever flow.

When I was returned home my health had suffered and I was to my dear friend Sir Peter Jarrette who told me of this dreaded heart burn which can be a direct result of going to too many parties in a row. My physician is dealing with it and I am to consider a rest from my hectic schedule.......when a break becomes possible.

Later in the week I was to the latest Music Bar for I had been personally invited by Marilyn Monroe to a night of iconic entertainment. I had secured the Foxy warrior as a showgirl for Elvis Presley and he was most pleased with her feather thrusting on the stage to the wonder of an entranced audience. It was to be a night of being quite starstruck by the Americans as even Frank Sinatra arrived having heard that the Countess was guest of honour.



Good news from one's offspring arrived also this week.
The Duchy of Cake and Ice Ice Baby has become a personal instructor of dance at the new club of Glee. I am not so sure what this club entails but I am assured by Della that it is simply beyond fabulous and that her position there will benefit the good people o f our borough greatly. There is even talk of a second School of Glee in Hackney......although the Li'l Literati is uninterested as she finds dancing quite frivolous!

And more news from Hackney and the Li'l one.....she has been gainfully employed by one of our country's finest schools.....Roedean no less......to edit their annual publication and design invitations to the great ball which will celebrate one hundred and twenty five years of educating girls of fine calibre, including the Li'l one of course.

Tuesday last I was introduced through a family friend, Mandy of the Spencer clan, to a gentleman of apparent means and excellent social standing. He was most charming indeed and requested my accompaniment at a soiree where I would be treated and entertained  with great culinary masterpieces and performances of sacred music. The day was spent in pleasant surroundings, all be they bijou, with a gentleman and a scholar whose charm was almost flawless.  I say 'almost' readers because there were certain anomalies in his explanations and disclosures.
I have decided not to permit any further associations as I am of the opinion that he may be linked with an underworld. Dear mother has had enough disappointment in her life without the threat of a ransom looming. I foolishly allowed the meeting despite my minder being absent.

Now what of this last weekend?
Tranny Anna arrived with wines and the Lady Pembleton-Fraser with vodkas.....and later Sir Teddy of the Maybank clan. Much chitting and chatting ensued and all was well, indeed Mother seemingly forgave Sir Teddy for his footballing past........ but later the Baron, of ill mood, arrived and took stock of the Palace guests. The baron was not in good spirits and for reasons unbeknown to myself or mother or my Lady in Waiting the Baron removed Sir Teddy in no uncertain fashion. Fortunately he left vodka.......a limited edition version with crests and its own silver box.......so all was not lost.
Sir Teddy later sent news that he was unable to pursue any relationship with the Palace in view of the Baron and his apparent 'madness'. It was clear at this point that the aging footballer had lost his spark for a spa!

Sunday was a day at the regal Square of Brunswick. My dear friend Lisa of the Montegues kindly invited the Countess to her palace overlooking the activities. How the wine flowed on that rainy day and we were oblivious to the tensions of the clouds. I was however forced to reprimand the Foxy Warrior because, under some influence no doubt.......she absconded with the Countess' new boots.......one's shipped directly from foreign continents and so rare as to be insured by the Palace!
I have forgiven her in view of the fact that she pines for the butler, Miguel who was returned to Spain and the bosom of his family this week.


The Lady pembleton-Fraser has sent news of her pleasure at being photographed for the Latest 7 publication. My personal photographer Diana of the Frangis had excelled once again as our images were blazoned across page 5.
Indeed the famous artist, Martin of the Middleton's, visited the Palace this very evening and expressed similar delight.



And so we come to a close as I plan an evening at Lady Emily of the Wrights tomorrow. Her risotto has become quite legendary and I am eager with anticipation.


I am also to a luncheon appointment with a family friend and for coffee with Princess Catherine. I sigh at my commitments.


God bless you all my children.








Tuesday, 22 June 2010

Trannies and Barbecues



This Wednesday past brought many visitors to the palace. Lady Emily of the Whiters had arranged with her staff to create pizza bases and a range of toppings made from fine ingredients from Italy......the feast was most excellent and there was not a scrap remaining at the end of the evening. One had hoped for left overs (for the staff of course, the Countess does not partake in leftovers) but alas there was nothing remaining.
Lady Diana of the Lauries was most entertaining and stayed for longer than is usual and we are all hopeful that she is to partake in alcoholic beverages quite soon after the abstinence which seems so long lived. And your Countess was most pleased to accept from her a whole round of Camembert.......an extremely smelly sample that was to be most enjoyed during the ensuing days by visitors to the palace. I have hence forgiven her for taking the last one home so unexpectedly.

Keith of the Morleys, the famous artist Martin Middleton, Lady Flick, Lady Juliet, Biggy, Sir Martin of the Freedman clan and even the Baron Rupert were in attendance...... probably due to rumours of the impending pizza.
I overheard the staff and the cook discussing the size of Martin of the Middletons hands. They seemed quite fixated upon them and were of a mind that it would suggest greatness in other areas......I am assuming they referred to his artistic abilities but I have no idea if this is proven.
Sir Keith had brought samples of fake grass to that palace. As an arbiter of taste I am of course obliged to advise my subjects and colleagues upon certain things. Sir Keith and Martin of the Middletons are to build a floating platform for a celebratory festival later in the year and needed my advice. The small square samples of green fluff amused the Foxy Warrior greatly and she sampled them as bikini bottoms, so I thought, although later when I spoke to Della, she was to advice me that the Foxy one was considering them for merkins. I was again to ask Della about what exactly a merkin is.....no one there present seemed willing to discuss it. Della has said that she believes it is a foreign item used to attract flies. Sometimes it strikes me that Della romances around the truth......I am none the wiser.

Now imagine my surprise when Tranny Ana arrived fresh from France. Seemingly her travels have occupied her to the extent that she was unable to inform me of her absence.


I was to consider ceasing her contract with the palace as her duties as my second lady in waiting have been grossly neglected for some months. My secretary and my business advisor, even mother, have begged that I consider her loyalties. Alas when I brought up the issues with Tranny Ana she was to begin to cry and to beg that I reinstate her as her increasing years are causing her concern regards suitable employment. Furthermore she is still paying off huge sums of money that she paid for her bosoms and other reconstructions. Also of course, as Della has told me, Tranny Ana has been gaining access to the Countess' walk-in wardrobes and the wig store. Some times I can smell strange aromas upon my items.......I am loath to question where Tranny Ana ventures although I am of a suspicion that she frequents many strange places around the globe.
And thus is my duty.....to retain Tranny Ana as a charitable action.

Also this week we were treated at the palace to the Lady Emily of the Whiters in full Lady Gaga regalia.....she looked resplendent and several of my visitors were quite transfixed by her presence......and her physique.

I have been forced to reprimand the Foxy Warrior as she was caught in a more than compromising position with Miguel the butler. She assures me it was a temporary lapse of judgement and that it will not happen again. Miguel seems to be attracting much attention from all the staff.....from scullery maid to even my lady in waiting, Della, who should know better than to hide in cupboards to observe the butler at his business. I also overheard the maids discussing big brown arms......I do not think they were talking about the palace guns.
I was even more concerned when one of the staff reported a pair of knickers in Miguel's fridge in his quarters. I interrogated the staff but none would admit to any wrong doing. I am hopeful that English Spanish relations are still going as hoped and have decided not to worry the Spaniards about this turn of events.....Miguel is of fine stock and I am not for upsetting them unnecessarily.



Sky, Queen of the Mushroom Fairies attended the Palace in order to celebrate that she has been accepted into college where she is to study 'oligies' .......we are all pleased that finally one of the Countess offspring may have a chance at a more rewarding career in terms of finance.......after all the Palace does not run itself and I am still to find husband. Keith of the Morleys seems to have over represented himself and may not be an option after all.



Jono of Eire and Prince Mark of the Trigwells visited the Palace as did The Lady Pembleton-Fraser. Such fun we had in conversations of life and the world........although they also found the walk in wardrobes and the wig store most entertaining. There seems to be a trend developing and I am to simply travel with its flow. Prince Mark is a sensitive beast and it was a pleasure to see him again after so long. Jono of Eire, fractious as ever was to cause his belligerence to aggravate Sir Peter Jarrette who had popped by the palace later. It is of little consequence as we are all now adept at ignoring him. My years of parenting have led to a level of expertise in this area..........the Countess knows when it is bedtime.

Palace celebrations went on until Saturday where I was to attend some charitable events in Soho and beyond.
I was to meet King Tommy Mcdonnel who supplied vodka from Russia at a birthday party in London for his associate. He was most convivial and entertaining. His effervescence quite contagious and I am hoping to see him very soon, perhaps on my birthday. I was also to meet his son who seemingly has eyes for the Queen of the Mushroom Fairies......I am to have his seat checked for suitability before I pass his details on. I believe he has been tempted by her red rubber dress photograph.......


Tranny Ana took me then to other places with a strange atmosphere and where I was confused about the genders and the dispositions of the guests. I presume it was King Tommy's Russian vodka that had caused my befuddlement. Whatever the case I was mostly suitably entertained by fabulous individuals, some even who seemed like road workers in dresses........so very avant guard.

 
Sunday we were to celebrate the sunshine in Bedford Gardens with dear Biggy. I still await his official portraits of the Countess and have discovered that he has been so entirely busy because he has constructed a book of photographs.......The said book, which is clearly competition for my importance at least temporarily, is available here


Let us hope that Biggy is now able to concentrate on his Countess more effectively.

It was a fine day for the barbecue. The Lovely Lady Emily of the Wrights arrived along with Paul of the Hewett clan, Lord Dubble-Yew and many others. The fare was excellent although fairly I have never seen so many sausages. Lady Diana of the Laurie clan met and fair fell in love with Paul of the Hewetts and we were almost forced to throw cooling waters over them as they cavorted in the sun on a bench.


I was later to attend the Palace of M where my lovely Sir Peter Jarrette was in attendance. The evening turned even better when I was invited to his castle in Beverly Dials and was returned home in golden carriage the next day. His cleaner had been given the day off and I am hoping that he was able to cope.
I am thanking goodness now for allowing me to rest, although I believe it will be short lived as I have much business to attend to and another charity event at the Palace tomorrow. My civic duties keep me in good trim although I have neglected Hackney of late.
Sadly the Foxy Warrior is ill of stomach and I am to give her time off.............her absence makes me quite nervous of course but I am promised that she will be with me this very Saturday to carry out civic duties in the centre of town.

I am too thrilled to see that my photographer, La Frangi, Diana of Argentina, has images of the Palace cheerleaders in the Latest Seven publication. I am to recover soon from the fact that the image of the Foxy Warrior is so much bigger than my own. The Countess is gracious and her breeding and training have combined to cause me not to be vain, although I am finding it most agonising and have asked Della to get something for my constitution from the palace physician as soon as possible.



News that the Baron is to be filmed for the BBC is most welcome. His fame and glory proceed one hopes ever forward. He is to be part of a program about graffiti art and the Countess is most excited about the prospect.

And finally this week I welcomed home the Duchy of cake and Ice Ice Baby who had such fun and frolicking in Las Vegas. I await cake as it is yet not forthcoming.

God bless Brighton and Hackney!


Monday, 1 February 2010

Drunk and Disorderly in Brighton Town, Another Fine Mess You Got Me Into.



           Chrissy and Ali........ Grosvenor Princesses


Biggy had invited me to the Grosvenor Castle. The Countess had been slightly traumatised by one of her stalkers so the invitation most welcome!

Now there is nothing wrong with a stalker my friends and followers as we all know. In fact I complain wholeheartedly when my stalkers neglect their stalking obligations, (it is a lonely place at the top of a plynth with only cupids circling my curls).
But one particular gentleman has been hounding your Countess to such a degree that she is now feeling uncomfortable at his constant attention. Also, the gentleman in question is from the borough of Shoreham and mother would be horrified at the prospect of a union with a commoner. What is more worrying are the constant references to the Countess' shoes and toes and feet. Stranger still an unholy fixation for the Countess to trample over this person's back!!!

I hear your gasps of disapproval. I have informed the relevant authorities and have employed a body guard. My body guard is rather dashing and I feel the start of a deep and meaningful union may be about to start.
I am also booked this very week to see my 'shrink' as the worries have overspilled into my sleeping world and have caused dark nightmares and sleeping terrors where your Countess is bound and tied and is sucked about the feet......worse still I am compelled to enjoy the process, in this dreamland. Fear not for my shrink will deal with these complications and bring the Countess back to sensibility.


 


So the Grosvenor beckoned and there I met Biggy, who of course you are all familiar with.
And I was thrilled also to meet distinguished gentlemen of the borough, some from as far afield as Southern Africa. 

  
    Boys from the Grosvenor, that's Biggy
    on the end on the right.


 
   Paul Hewett with the Countess



 
   The Countess' diamonte eyelashes

My memories of my suiter from Tower Hamlets were muffled by the activities of the weekend. Other suiters, hell bent methinks on bugging the Countess have drawn me to the conclusion that Girls Date for Free is not the one for me.
I am lookintg at other ways and means to affect proposals of marriage.....perhaps to attract a better calibre of gentleman for I found out readers that Girls Date for Free is in fact rather cheap to join. If my aides had been aware that one could sign up for a mere £20 a month, the Countess would not be in this predicament.......a woman of my social standing does not desire to mix in the gene pool of the proletariate! Despite the fact that I have on one or two occasions, watched a programme called Jermy Kyale, or something similar, to ensure that I am familiar with the workings of the lower classes.


                      Pearl in Western Road


Now back to Saturday evening........
We partied hard as is the way at the weekend for people of our graces and means.
Later, Sir Peter Jarrette sent as invitation and we were beckoned to the Palace of Pearl, and later still to The Castle of M (pronounced 'em') where the music thumped and the wine and vodka flowed. As I recall it was at the Castle of M that things in the mind of your Countess became fuzzled and bedazzled. I recall we finally arrived back at the my very own castle and after some complications in the moat, Biggy nearly fell in, we arrived safe and sound along with Jono of Eire and others besides. (I fear that Biggy's attentions towards the Irish one were misplaced as the latter was not to be persuaded despite several attempts, under cover, so to speak).


Your Countess was most pleased by Monday for two reasons.
Firstly readers, my head was no longer fuzzled and bedazzled and secondly I had also sold a signed artist print from the palace. The frirst of this particular work and so one is most pleased. Click on the image for a closer look a the original mixed collage.......viewable in the gallery at the Palace of course, by appointment on a Friday afternoon.




















Saturday, 9 January 2010

The year ahead for the Countess promises much. The doodles that I do whilst chatting on the telephone will be available on the internet through the website which has been lovingly restored by one of my trusty slaves.

The Countess is recording the album as well as making the video with Sir Peter Jarrette. You can hear the single 'Pump Up The Pussy' here and on www.goddamngorgeous.com and on facebook of course if you are my friend.














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The video diaries will be online throughout the following year. The Countess will keep her loyal subjects informed of all her activities in Brighton and Hackney so please log on when you are able and feel free to inform me of your dilemmas or suggestions for better running of the kingdoms. The website has a guest book should you wish to comment there and of course all subjects may comment here.

We must all look forward to the pride float in which the Countess will take a select few from her Court as well as her cupids and dwarves.

The Palace is open for appointments to view the doodles and other business as well as to partake in feasting and frivolities on the weekends. Please use the telephone or electronic mail to book Countess time.





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